


Forget All That We Are

by Madalena



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8977315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madalena/pseuds/Madalena
Summary: “If I never meet you, then I never have to lose you.”
Robin walks in on Regina about to make a drastic life choice, and tries to talk her out of it. Set in season 4A.
One-shot from a series of one-line prompts about love from other fandoms. More details in end notes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my series fics (Oblivion is Not An Option and Saving Hope and Faith), just been a bit busy is all! Hope to get back to them after the holidays.
> 
> This is from a bunch of one-shots that I wrote during NaNoWriMo. Enjoy! Angsty but with a happy ending :)

“If I never meet you, then I never have to lose you.”

So that was it. Robin’s heart fell heavy to the floor as Regina turned her back on him, continuing to mix the potion from the containers in front of her.

“Regina, please.” He begged. “Don’t do this.”

“I have to.” She said, turning around with the goblet in her hand, smoke wafting up from it. “You won’t leave me and go back to your wife like you should. And I’m so selfish that I keep letting you come to me even though you shouldn’t. So I’m solving the problem. If I don’t remember you, if I don’t know you, then I won’t love you.”

“You love me?”

Regina froze and you could hear a pin drop in the vault.

“Yes.” She said in a small voice. “I let myself believe in hope. I let myself believe in love. I was foolish. I shouldn’t have done it. I should know by now, love is weakness.”

“Love is not weakness, Regina. You of all people should know that by now. Love is strength.”

“Love makes you do stupid things. Horrible things.” Her voice cracked. “When I think about everything I did for love… because of love… I’ll never be clean of them. I did so many terrible things because I lost love. I won’t do that again. So the only alternative is to forget.”

“No. I won’t let you.”

“Won’t let me, thief?” Her walls were back up. “I will do what I want. And you have no claims to say otherwise.”

His heart was breaking, hearing her words, knowing that hers was breaking as well. Despite her haughty tone, the goblet in her hand was trembling. He wanted to grab it and smash it on the floor, but he knew if he made any sudden movements, she would bring it to her lips and it would all be over.

They would be over.

Which perhaps was the right move, given that he had a wife and a child. But nothing about his renewed relationship with Marian was right. He had moved on. She would have to understand that, because to him she had been dead. And she had been, until she had travelled through time. While it was a joy to have Roland’s mother back in the picture, the boy barely remembered his mother. And Robin certainly no longer had any feelings of passion towards her, just the fondness of an old love that has long since disappeared.

No, he refused to believe that Regina drinking that potion was the answer to anything. It was the easy move, not the right one. The right one would be to talk, talk to each other, talk to Marian, have her understand that Regina was no longer the Evil Queen, and come to an understanding regarding custody arrangements, living arrangements and everything else that this modern world demanded of a couple splitting apart.

Robin put up his hands in surrender. “I know I have no right to demand anything from you. I know I have hurt you more than I ever should, and I am deeply sorry for that. Especially given how I’ve kept coming back and breaking your heart again and again and again. I have no right to ask anything of you. But please. Roland needs his mother in his life, that is true, but I do not need - or want - Marian in my life anymore besides as a former partner who I share a child with. She is not my future. She is my past. You, Regina, you are my future.”

The hand with the goblet trembled again. “How can you say that. We’ve barely had any time together.”

“I just know it. I’ve known since the moment I first saw you in the Enchanted Forest. When my men and I saved you and Snow White from those monkeys, and then you saved my son. Just tell me what I need to do to prove that to you. To prove how much I care about you, and how much I want you. Just please, don’t drink that potion.”

“What if you just go away again? Like you’ve been doing these past weeks?”

Robin closed his eyes, resting his forehead on the cold stone of the vault, and then opened them again, relieved to see that she hadn’t moved the goblet any closer to her mouth.

“I’ve been an idiot. I thought I was doing the right thing. Doing the right thing for Roland. The right thing for Marian. But in all of that I forgot what the right thing was for myself. And for you. I love you. And I want you to be my future.”

Robin dropped to his knees in front of Regina, still far enough out of reach that she didn’t feel threatened, but closer than he had been standing to her.

“Please forgive me, milady. I know I’ve hurt you and you have no reason to trust me, but I still ask it of you. And if nothing else, please, just don’t drink that. Even if you don’t want to accept me back into your life, please, don’t erase what we were to each other.”

He closed his eyes again, feeling at the stony ground beneath his knees, opening them again to see it, running his eyes over the ground to where she stood, her dark shoes stark against the light grey stone, wanting to look up, but knowing that she needed to make this choice for herself. It would only mean something if she made it for herself.

Eventually he heard her take a deep breath and heard the clink of the goblet resting back on the plinth. His heart clenched, because he didn’t know what she had done with the contents. Had she drank the potion? Had she dumped it out? Was it still sitting there, waiting for the right moment?

Well, she wasn’t telling someone she didn’t know to get out of her vault, so it seemed she hadn’t drunk it quite yet.

He heard her step forward, but he didn’t move a muscle, not until she gave a sign that he should. She rested her hand on his head, slowly tilting it to have him look up at her.

“What have you decided?” He asked, voice thick with emotion. “What is your choice?”

“I will choose hope.” She said softly. “I hope I choose rightly. That I choose fairly, and that I won’t regret the choice.”

“I will do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t regret it.” Robin said, getting to his feet, hovering just a few inches away from her, wanting to put his hands on her but also knowing it was important for her to make the first steps. For her to lead the way things went.

She ran her hand down to his cheek, looking into his eyes, seeing their open honesty and unshed tears.

“You look like you’re about to cry.” She said in a sad voice. “Maybe this was a mistake, I don’t want to cause you pain…” She started stepping backward, but this time he didn’t let her go. He caught her wrists in his hands and didn’t let her back up to the potion.

“The pain that you were causing was the pain you were going to do to yourself.” He said softly, voice cracking as a tear did spill over. “I was imagining what my life would be without you and it wasn’t a life I wanted. A life where you looked at me like I was a stranger. I wouldn’t be able to bear it.”

“You care about me that much?”

He let go of her wrists when he saw she wasn’t about to bolt, and wrapped his arms around her waist again.

“I care about you more than you seem to care about yourself. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve had a reckless disregard for your own safety. Considering yourself disposable, replaceable. But you are not. You are irreplaceable, Regina Mills. You have found your way into my heart, and I intend to keep you there.”

“But… your wife…”

“Is the past. You are my future. I will make arrangements with Marian to share custody of Roland, and I will help her get accustomed to this modern world, as much as I can anyway, not being too familiar with it myself yet, but you are my future. I love you.”

“You do?”

Robin nodded, biting his lip. “I love you. And I hope that one day, when you can trust me again, that you will love me too.”

“You’re not doing this out of magic? Because of what I told you?”

“What, that Tinkerbell said we were soulmates? No. I loved you before I knew about that. Tinkerbell pointed you to me, but she did not make my decisions for me. I fell in love with you all on my own.”

“When?”

“Sorry?”

“When did you fall in love with me?”

“The first time? When you saved my son from those flying monkeys.”

“And the second time?”

“When we talked about that letter in the forest here.” Robin smiled, and looked her deep in the eye. “There aren’t many people who can say they’ve fallen in love with someone twice, each time unaware of the others. But I do. I love you, and I have since almost the moment I met you.”

“This… this won’t be easy. I’m not an easy person to love.”

“On the contrary, milady. I find you a very easy person to love. But you have a hard time loving yourself. We’ll work on that.”

“You want to?”

“I want you to love yourself as much as I do. You deserve to be happy, and not just with me, but within yourself as well. You have people who love and care for you, Regina Mills. You need to learn to love yourself as well.”

“Loving myself… is hard. Knowing everything that I’ve done… how can I love that? How can you?”

“I forgive you. I forgive you for what you did to me, to my family, to my men. And thus I can also love you. You need to forgive yourself, only then will you be able to learn to love yourself.”

“I… I don’t think I can. Some things I’ve done can’t be forgiven.”

“I don’t believe that. I believe that if you want forgiveness, if you want redemption, and you walk that good path, then forgiveness is always possible.”

“Oh, Robin.” Regina said, her voice cracking as she ran a hand over his cheek, then kissing him lightly, which he reciprocated, as softly as she had, not pushing, just following her lead.

“I won’t stop fighting for you. I won’t let you give up on yourself.”

Regina smiled thinly. “That’s the same thing that Henry said.”

“You have a very wise boy. You raised him well.”

“I wonder if the Evil Queen could do that.”

“If I may suggest it, I think that’s when you stopped being her.”

“Sorry?”

“When you adopted Henry, made him a part of your life… that is when the Evil Queen started to disappear. That is when the Evil Queen no longer had a hold over you. That is why you could start to move out of darkness.”

“I still did plenty of awful things to Emma and Snow White to try and keep them away from Henry and ignorant of the truth.”

“Because you were afraid. But now it is all out in the open. Snow White forgives you. Emma forgives you. Henry forgives you. If they all forgive you, it is time that you start to forgive yourself as well.”

“I… I don’t know how.”

“It is really very simple. We can start right now. Say - I forgive myself.”

“I… I forgive myself.”

“I forgive myself.”

“I forgive myself.”

They repeated it a few more times, until Regina looked away in exasperation. “What is this for, Robin? What does saying it do?”

“The more you say it, the more you will start to believe it. And I will never stop believing it.”

“This feels silly.”

“Then there is no harm in doing it, because everyone needs to be silly once in awhile.”

Regina sighed dramatically, and Robin smiled for the first time in days.

“What are you smiling about, thief?”

Robin smiled wider, the smile reaching to his eyes. “Because I know that if I have gotten to the exasperation stage of your dramatic expressions, then you are on the road to feeling better. I know I have a lot of work to do to prove to you just how much I care about you, but I am serious about doing it. I just need you to be serious about accepting it. And being ready to fight for us.”

“I always want to fight for us.” She said quietly. “I’ve just never been sure if you were fighting the same fight. That’s why I thought I’d remove that worry.”

“Love, you taking your memories would just pain me even more. It wouldn’t make anything easier for you to hurt yourself that way. I will always fight for you.”

“But if you didn’t remember me either…”

“Stop talking like that.” Robin said sternly. “No. Regina. We need to remember each other. And remember, we were under a forgetting potion once before. We still found each other. We will always find each other.”

“That’s what the Charmings say.” Regina wrinkled her nose.

“And they are right about that. I will always find you. You will always find me. I will always fight for you. And, I hope, you will always fight for me.”

“I… I didn’t feel worthy.”

“That’s not your call. I want you in my life. I find you worthy. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not worthy. I will not let you think you’re not worth it.”

Regina bowed her head, resting her forehead on his chest. “I… I want to believe that. But years of my mother, and…”

“I can’t imagine how difficult it could have been for you. But know that she is not here. But I am. Trust what I am saying. That you are worthy of love. That you are worthy of devotion. That you are worthy of life. That you are worthy of happiness.”

“Are you conspiring with Henry?”

“No. But perhaps I should.”

“I will try, Robin. Try. It isn’t easy for me.”

“I know it isn’t. And all I ask is that you try. If you need reassurance, I will give it to you. If you need support, I will give that too. If you need someone to tell you if you’re being foolish, well, I can do that too.”

“Am I often foolish?”

“Only when you think you don’t deserve what you have, or anything at all. Only when you think that hurting yourself will solve problems for everyone else. That sleeping curse that you tried to use in the Enchanted Forest. That forgetting potion you made today. You will not solve any problems by magicking your way out of the equation. You will only solve problems through love and trust.”

“Truly?”

“Truly.” He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

“Don’t ever think you’re unworthy, Regina Mills. You are the most worthy of them all.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, how many fandoms did you recognize?
> 
> The starting quote, "If I never meet you, then I never have to lose you" is from LOST, where Juliet said it to Sawyer in the episode before she died. Juliet/Sawyer were my favourite ship on LOST, and they have so many similarities to Robin and Regina that it can't have been an accident (Adam and Eddy worked on LOST too, after all), though I didn't notice until it was too late (that is, just a few days before 5x21 "Last Rites").
> 
> Obviously we have some quotes from within OUAT itself, but see if you can spot the Leverage and Harry Potter references ;)


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